The holidays are a stressful time. “Peace on earth and goodwill to all” is a noble concept that loses out to consumerism, end-of-year office politics, and standard familial dysfunction. You can’t hold it against someone for behaving a little erratically when the looming specter of a malevolent Santa is looming over their head.
Dave Mustaine is a reasonable enough guy. Whether it be questioning Obama’s birthplace, opposing gay marriage, or just plain old nursing a grudge for four decades over a band they were in for a year and got kicked out of for their own bad behavior, Megadeth’s main man always stays cool, balanced, and composed.
When Mustaine went off his goddamn rocker on Facebook over a delayed Men’s Wearhouse gift certificate in the early days of 2013, it was obviously because of the immense strain of the holiday season.. Right?
Here’s what the thrash titan had to say to his five million followers:
I know that not all of you have the kind of job that requires a suit, or wear a suit when you (if you) go to any kind of faith-based service, court date, wedding or funeral, but if you do…you are going to want to read this. You know me, I don’t complain much in writing, but I gotta get this off my chest.
A few days before Christmas I purchased a gift certificate from the Men’s Warehouse in Salt Lake City, Utah as a gift for our awesome tour manager Jim Carroccio. You know the Men’s Warehouse…the old geezer with the voice that sounds like he has chain-smoked since he was a fetus; the one that espouses, “I absolutely guarantee you’re gonna like the way you look,” or some manure like that, right?
Well, I was talking to Jim today and wondering why he didn’t say anything (I think we all wonder sometimes when our loved ones or friends get gifts if they actually like them) and it turns out that they decided to hold my order, otherwise called by them as “pending,” and told no one. For almost 9 days now I have been waiting for delivery of this gift certificate, and I wouldn’t say anything because it IS the holidays, but these salesmen promised that they would GUARANTEE a two-day delivery of the certificate to Jim (it seems they throw this word GUARANTEE around quite a lot).
So, we called and asked what happened and they have no explanation whatsoever, they didn’t care, and when we asked if they were going to do anything to remedy this, they made no effort whatsoever for this mix-up…although they did promise me the same GUARANTEE that they gave me when I bought it; that is that they will send it “two-day delivery,” but I already was promised this. Maybe they mean 12 day delivery.
I really think that it sucks when people make false claims, that they don’t care to make good on a problem that is clearly their fault, and with all of the “ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE IT” crap I just had to say something. We are all living in very tight financial times right now, and like I said, you may not wear a suit for your job or for an event or occasion, but if you do, I would strongly recommend you wear someone else’s suits. Go to Jos. A Bank instead. I for one, will never set foot in a Men’s Warehouse, even for shelter from a blizzard.
I absolutely GUARANTEE it.
Say what you will about his technique, but Mustaine shortly thereafter received an honest-to-God apology from Men’s Wearhouse! The retailer addressed the rocker via Facebook:
Dave, thanks for reaching out to us on Facebook. We apologize for the delay in receiving your gift card and agree that the delay is unacceptable. Customer satisfaction is our highest priority and we stand by our guarantee to deliver world-class customer service. So, we’d like to speak with you about a solution but are having some trouble reaching you since we last connected on 12/28. Please send your contact info to MWListens@tmw.com and our team will help you right away.
That’s where it ends and everyone lives happily ever after, right? Of course not! A few days after the exchange, CNN’s Anderson Cooper ripped on the incident during the “RidicuList” segment of his show, saying: “We are all old. You know that you’re old when one of the founding members of METALLICAis upset about a customer service issue with a Men’s Wearhouse in Salt Lake City.”
In perhaps the strangest turn of this saga, Mustaine not only took Anderson Cooper’s jabs in stride, but praised the cable news anchor, tweeting: “It’s ok that @andersoncooper tried to make fun of me on his #RidicuList. I’ve always thought he was a class newsman & I love his show.”
Having developed a degree of self awareness about the whole saga, Mustaine teamed up with the people at Funny Or Die and his old pal Kenny G for a spoof Men’s Wearhouse commercial. In the skit, Mustaine plays a George Zimmer-type character (Zimmer is the founder of the suit retail giant and the “I guarantee it” guy from the commercials, who was ironically fired by the Men’s Wearhouse board earlier that week), telling the story of Keith, a headbanger who is both freaked out about what to wear to his big interview but also needs some music to pump him. At the record store, Keith finds Megadeth’s new (at the time) Super Collider album. Mustaine comments, “This is the Megadeth that guys like Keith know and love. Once Keith heard Super Collider, he kicked ass.”
Smooth jazz superstar Kenny G is also featured in the clip. We’d love to show it to you, but it appears that the video has been scrubbed from the internet. Maybe Mustaine doesn’t have such a great sense of humor about the whole thing after all.