Slayer’s Insane Rider Called For Fully-Fueled Zamboni, 100 Goats to Slaughter + More

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Despite the terror they inspired in parents and churchgoers everywhere, Slayer was never a band who took themselves too seriously. In many ways, their whole satanic image was meant to be a tongue-in-cheek way to separate themselves from other bands. Tom Araya told Blabbermouth back in 2008:

“We didn’t want to look like all the hair bands that were coming out at the time. So we did everything completely opposite of that, which included the dark image, you know, that whole Satan vibe. And our first album being Side 6 Side 66, people were really freaking out over that.”

Hell, Tom Araya has identified himself as a Catholic for his whole life! Kerry King, the band’s main lyricist, is an atheist who couldn’t begin to care about religion one way or another, let alone theological satanism!

Perhaps Slayer’s sense of humor can best be exemplified by showing you their old hospitality rider. This was taken from their appearance at 2013’s Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, Texas.

Without further ado, From the desk of Slayer:

“Dear Transmission Entertainment Bros,
Got texted from one of your interns that we’re moving up to the Orange Stage.
(Orange is a pretty lame colour though — Can we change it to a darker orange? Burnt orange? Think about that one.) Anyway, we noticed you dudes left off some stuff from our rider and wanted to make sure this shit gets taken care of
We’re in this for the beer and titties, just like you guys. XOXO!”

The rider itself listed the following:

  • Totes brand blood-proof umbrellas Sandwich platter in pentagran form (include hummus and sprouts)
    50,000 live bees for Dave
    100 snow-white goats for slaughter Halal butcher to slaughter the goats
    Freezer bags and coolers to preserve the goat meat until I can get home and make slow-roasted goat tacos with cilantro and onion
    4 yoga ball chairs,
    black Schlitterbahn passes, lockers and 4 souvenir cups
    4 Lite-Brites
    10 Cases of Gogurt
    2 shoeboxes to hide our Grammy awards (do not write “Granmys” on the boxes)
    4 box seats to the Austin Ice Bats
    Pad of newsprint, watercolours and those markers that smell like different cool stuff
    Whetstone for battle axes
    Ping pong table, 4 paddles, balls
    1 Bowflex
    Hogan’s Heroes DVD Box set
    Hand sanitizer
    Hand satanizer
    Nerf brand boy and arrows
    Reliquary containing finger bones of St. George
    New sweet blackletter font book
    (Taschen?) with the pink cover
    Zamboni with full tank
    4 tubes of StainStick
    1 human skull full of Red Hots

From our understanding, it was all fun and games until the hand sanitizer and the human skull full of Red Hots appeared.

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