Kid Rock Says Trump Told Him He’s “Proud of Him,” Promotes the Great Pumpkin’s Re-Election in 2024

Donnie Diapers by Gage Skidmore, via Wikipedia.
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You ever seen an ’80s action movie? You know that second-in-command bad guy, who’s rougher around the edges than the real bad guy in the suit? The dude who keeps trying to buddy up to the Big Bad, thinking he’s part of the broader plan and will get his rewards, only for the Big Bad to later kick him out of a helicopter or leave him in the exploding building? Well, that’s Kid Rock right now, bragging that Donald Trump told him he’s proud of him, and promoting Trumps’ re-election in 2024.

For those of you who don’t remember or have conveniently forgotten, Donald Trump lost the 2020 election to Joe Biden, prompting him to promote a repeatedly-disproven conspiracy that the election was “stolen.” This came to a head on January 6th, 2021, when he encouraged an angry mob that stormed the Capitol Building and killed a police officer in order to “stop the steal.” Since then, Trump has retreated from the public eye, as many of his former supporters were forced to admit that promoting an attack on democracy itself was a bad fuckin’ look for an American politician.

Now, outspoken Trump supporter Kid Rock has tweeted that Orange Julius gave him the equivalent of a pat on the head for his new list of salty conservative bullet points, titled “We, The People.”

“Oh, and by the way…. I just got off the phone with our 45th President (hopefully 47th) and he expressed how proud of me he was over “We The People” being the #1 song on Itunes!” tweeted Kid Rock. “Suck on that you trolls, critics and haters! Thank you to all the fans, I can’t wait to see you on tour! Pedal to the fuckin’ metal, LETS GO!!”

Along with releasing “We, The People,” Kid Rock announced that he might quit touring, saying, “It very well could be [the last tour] for the unforeseen future. At 51 years old it’s not getting any easier doing jumps and carrying on onstage. But I’m really keeping myself together and preparing mentally, physically, working out everyday, trying to eat healthy, all that bullshit, cause I just wanna be top notch, my peak for this tour.”

Guess he can’t hang like a degenerate liberal like Ozzy.

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Words by Chris Krovatin

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