It’s a given for most metal fans that they won’t get what they want for Christmas. Between your parents thinking it’s time you grew up, your siblings not fully understanding you, and your friends being broke, it’s rare that your average metalheads gets the killer merch they wrote a letter to Satan about. And that’s a shame for everyone involved — it’s just as much fun to watch that wide-eyed smile hit someone’s face as it is to get the perfect gift.

Thankfully, The Pit is here to make things right. We’ve put together a killer list of current rock and metal merch for you to highlight and send to your friends and family. And not only that, we have some exclusive offers to Pit readers that’ll help your or those close to you save some dough on this awesome swag.

Here’s everything you’d want to find under the tree this year…

Volbeat’s ‘Servant of the Mind’ Denim Jacket 

Given that Danish Elvis-metallers Volbeat have a headlining tour with Ghost coming up, it’s only fitting that they should drop this badass custom denim number. The jacket comes embroidered with the band logo, and also includes a handful of awesome patches with which to customer can personalize their new threads. It brings that classic metal feel that the band have been courting quite a bit lately with their thrashy new tracks and Metallica covers. Strap this bad boy on and p.s. – the first 100 orders come with a free patch set.

Shinedown’s 2012 From the Vault Line

Was there a piece of merch from Shinedown’s Amaryllis album cycle that you were either too distracted or poor to jump on? Thankfully, the band have brought back a ‘From the Vault’ 2012 merch haul, complete with the beanie, denim vest, and banner you see above. There’s something special about getting a piece of gear from a classic period in a band’s history, so fans should make sure they jump on this collection now!

And check out these limited offers from Shinedown’s webstore:

• 11/26 – 11/30: 20% off sale storewide for all items (excluding From The Vault + new holiday merch)

Korn’s new longsleeve shirts

As far as merch goes, Korn always have a solid selection — but damn if their new longsleeves aren’t especially killer. Between the Type O-esque self-titled shirt and the ‘Santa Freak’ shirt (uh, is Santa dropping a deuce down that chimney?), the band have outdone themselves this holiday season. Stay warm with these cozy shirts that’ll make everyone at mass the next morning gasp out loud.

And for a limited time, get these special offers from Korn’s webstore:

• 11/22 – 11/30:  Free standard U.S. shipping on orders $75+
• 11/26 – 11/30:  10% off on orders $35+, 20% off on orders $75+

Alice In Chains pajama pants

Let’s face it, if they know how to do one thing in Seattle, it’s getting cozy. Alice In Chains’ webstore is loaded with awesome new merch this season — there’s also an awesome ‘70s-style stoner rock shirt — but we think these pajama pants take the cake. There’s something to snuggling up in your PJs with a huge cup of coffee and some heavy-ass grunge blasting that makes the whole holiday season worthwhile. 

And for a limited time, get these special offers from Alice In Chains’ webstore:

• Now – 11/28– 15% off storewide and free bottle opener and free standard shipping on orders of $65 at the Alice In Chains’ webstore.

 

 

 

Super7’s Ultimate King Diamond Action Figure

God DAMN, did Super7 go all out with this action figure! The alt-toy company’s Ultimate King Diamond is an excellent depiction of His Majesty during his young years as the frontman of Mercyful Fate. As though the reflective shades head and bone mic stand weren’t enough, the figure comes with Melissa the skull — yes, the Melissa that the album is named after. A toy that’ll have the kid in every metal fan squealing when they open it.

Rage Against The Machine’s ‘F You’ Hoodie

As far as bands with in-your-face messages go, it’s hard to argue with the power of Rage Against the Machine. Now, the band have immortalized the chant from the end of 1992’s “Killing In The Name” on a pretty awesome grey-on-black hoodie. The design not only looks cool and streamlined, it also spells out a message in big letters that maybe some of your friends and family need to hear this Christmas. We’d wear this everywhere.

Shop it HERE.

Halestorm’s 2020 Crew Shirt

Okay, whoever designed this one is a genius. While Halestorm created this shirt to benefit their crew who were out of work during the pandemic, its sentiment is one that bands have always known, and will feel forever. Any band, roadie, or even theater kid who’s ever known the struggle of carrying a bass amp will appreciate this rad-ass shirt. Pick ‘em up while supplies still last.

And make sure to take advantage of these awesome offers from Halestorm’s webstore:

• 11/26-11/29 — up to 30% off with code HALESTORM30 

Slipknot Mask Beanie

Look, if any band could do a solid hat-that-is-instantly-pulled-down-into-a-terrifying-ski-mask, you know it’s Slipknot. And lo and behold, the band’s pull-down beanie-mask is not only awesome, it’s also in keeping with the band’s ethos. Pull this down and you become another nameless masked maggot — and you have the Slipknot ‘S’ on your forehead, like the sickest superhero alive. Do not use for nefarious purposes, please.

Coheed and Cambria’s ‘The Inferno’ Ground Coffee

Sometimes you just need the taste of comic book-obsessed prog rock to get you up in the morning. Thankfully, Coheed and Cambria have their own single-origin coffee to kick off your day. The Guatemalan roast apparently has “tasting notes of almond, dark chocolate, and black cherry,” so you can enjoy a complex blend of flavors while wondering what happened last night.

• 11/26-11/29 — get up to 30% off select items from the Coheed & Cambria store.

 

 

Slayer Skull Stash Box

We’re big fans of band-themed stash boxes (you know, for your jellybeans), and this Slayer one is fucking phenomenal. A rotting military skull adorned with demons from the thrash legends’ album covers and skewered with a sword? Shit yeah, this’ll be perfect for holding your, uh, Skittles. If you somehow convince a family member to buy you this thing, you’re a metal hero, and we need advice from you. For tobacco use only, how ‘bout that?

Jerry Cantrell Photo Blanket

Now this is some cool shit straight out of the ‘70s. If you’re a grunge or hard rock fan looking for something to hang on the wall of your rehearsal space, studio, or basement bar, you should look no further than this badass blanket featuring Mr. Jerry Cantrell on it. Besides featuring his Nugentian pose, the blanket’s orange-and-black pattern is a great one for losing yourself in while blasting Boggy Depot at full volume. Oh, we guess you could also sleep using it?

 

And check out this offer from Jerry’s webstore, exclusive to The Pit’s readers:

• Now to 12/1 – 15% off all apparel + accessories & free pin + free standard shipping on orders of $65

Super7’s Motörhead War Pig ReAction Figure In Japanese Chrome

Let’s face it, no matter how old you are, it’s fun to get toys at Christmas. And if you’re a classic metalhead, there’s something rad about a limited Japanese run. That’s why Super7’s ReAction figure of Motörhead’s timeless War Pig looks especially rad in its Japanese Chrome incarnation. The light of your Bic reflecting off this monster’s battle axe will strike you blind. A rare moment where the packaging is so cool, you’ll want to leave this one unopened like you’re some desperate Star Wars collector.

Municipal Waste Painter’s Hat

Do you worship toxic thrash, but secretly wish you looked more like David Lee Roth on the booger sugar? Feast your eyes upon Municipal Waste’s painter’s hat. The cap is bright yellow, and bears the band’s toxic mutant fiend on the top in glaring green, but the hat’s size and shape lets the world know you’re either a classic rocker, a particularly weird clown, or about to lay down the most brutal coat of primer ever. Leave it on in bed.

Jimi Hendrix Ashtray

Band-oriented ashtrays are often hit or miss, but there’s something about this Jimi one that makes us instantly want it. Maybe it’s the fact that Jimi Hendrix’s music will always be associated with late nights backstage with nothing but a smoke (tobacco use only, you hazy degenerates) to keep you company. Or maybe it’s the cool black-and-white photo of Jimi that makes it feel so old-school and stylish. Either way, we’ll keep this on our desk any time. For sunflower seed shells. We promise.

From all of us at The Pit, happy holidays — we hope you get everything you want!

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Words by Chris Krovatin