GWAR’s Blöthar the Berserker: Dave Grohl Was “Jacked On Gak…He Was In the Band for Around 7 and A Half Minutes”

Yesterday, Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl revealed to the world that once upon a time, he almost joined intergalactic sex monster band GWAR, but decided not to at the last minute. Now, GWAR’s hideous and erotic frontman Blöthar the Berserker has come forward clarifying that Grohl, like many bohabs at the time, was just some psychotic drug-fueled punk who was fired minutes after joining.

Yesterday, in a new interview, Dave Grohl was recorded as saying, “GWAR were looking for a drummer, and I talked to their guitar player Dewey about it. And he’s, like, ‘It’s great, and you get to design your own costume.’ As drummer, you don’t want something that covers your face fully. You want your arms to be free. So I was, like, ‘Cool.’ So I started kind of drawing this thing. At the time GWAR was a band that would draw like 700 people, right? Which is huge.”

In the end, Dave turned down the gig for the same reason most of us would: he couldn’t take all those alien cumshots every night and look at himself in the mirror in the morning. “The more I thought about it, [the more I thought], ‘Am I really gonna invite my uncle to see me play when there’s like fake blood and cum shooting all over the place?”

Shortly thereafter, Blöthar took to GWAR’s Instagram, writing, “Grohl remembers this ALL wrong! He used to hang around the track with all the other young punks jacked on gak. This is back before he lost all his teeth. We hired him and then called him back immediately and fired him. He was in the band for around 7 and half minutes. He was holding us back.”

 

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So there you have it, fans — every time you hear “Learn to Fly,” picture Dave Grohl shivering and scratching his arm, looking for another hit off that sweat alien pig teat.

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Words by Chris Krovatin

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