10 Things We’re Dying to See In Danzig’s Vampire Spaghetti Western

Back in February, horror punk legend and goth metal overlord Glenn Danzig dropped the first trailer for his second feature-length film, Death Rider In The House of Vampires. The movie looks absolutely ridiculous — and given the massive if slightly derisive response Danzig’s first movie Verotika received, it looks like late-night movie fans will be absolutely delighted.

Lately, we’ve been lying awake at night, wondering what cinematic nightmare Glenn’s going to unleash upon us this time around. So we decided to list 10 things that we’re dying to see in Danzig’s vampire movie. Here’s how the blood spills

Some old-school satanic vampires

Plenty of directors decide to make a vampire movie and immediately think, Okay, so what about these vampires is different from the myths? What if they’re just animals or something? Not Danzig, though. Knowing Glenn, he’s gonna give us some old-school vampires who fear the cross, drink blood from ancient chalices, and serve the Devil. Because if Danzig can’t give you some evil vampires, who can?

A Verotika reference

Considering what a cult classic Danzig’s directorial debut became, how can he not call it out? Sure, Death Rider… may have more of a cohesive vision than Verotika, which was an anthology, but it appears to have a similar tone of ridiculous horror. More so, a reference could establish the Danzig Cinematic Universe, which would be awesome for everyone — imagine a Danzig-themed Avengers.

Lots of Kim Director

Say what you want about Danzig, he knows exceptionally vavavoom talent when he sees it. Among the cast of Death Rider is Kim Director, who readers here might know as the goth chick from Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Also known for her work on The Deuce and Inside Man, Director is one of those actors who looks made to play a dishy vampiress. We’re here for you, Kim!

Some killer Dracula Easter eggs

Look, love him or hate him, it’s obvious that Danzig knows old movies. His musical career is littered with dedications to classic films. So when it comes to a vampire film, we expect to see Danzig go all-out in his love of old-school Dracula flicks. Will there be a velvet painting of Christopher Lee behind a bar? A house of ill repute named Westenra’s? Let’s see some love for the other Big D!

Big, beautiful shots of the American west

Along those lines, it’s obvious from the trailer than Danzig loves classic westerns. And a huge part of those movies are enthralling shots of the American landscape — endless fields, Martian-esque red deserts, and splintery little towns with ramshackle graveyards. We’re stoked to watch Glenn pour his love of old Clint Eastwood flicks into this movie and show off the grandeur of his shooting locations. Make us weep, Glenn!

A shitload of hissing

Relating the point #1, modern vampire movies so often try to make vampires into some T. Rex-roaring sci-fi monster. We say screw that! We want our vampires bearing their fangs and doing a lot of back-of-the-throat hissing! If Glenn knows his source material, and we have a feeling he does, then this movie will be an absolute hissfest. Give us the giant bat-corpses we’re here for!

Danzig as a vampire shitkicker

One of the most exciting parts of the Death Rider trailer is seeing Danzig as Bad Bathory, an undead good ol’ boy biting open necks at an old-timey saloon. What’s especially fun is that unlike what some fans might expect, Danzig’s vampire self isn’t grim-faced or tyrannical — he has kind of a McConaughey-ish energy to him. Watching Danzig finally play a nosferatu, only to have him be some snickering cowboy, is pretty much everything we’ve ever dreamed of.

Some elaborate guts-based violence

If Verotika taught us anything, it’s that Glenn’s not afraid of gore in his films. Though style and atmosphere are often king in both vampire movies and westerns, we can’t help but hope that Glenn has some really insane disembowelment in the works. Let’s see some tracheas ripped out and gallons of blood running down naked bodies. Come on, Danzig, we know you’re good for it!

Eli Roth having fun with it

Director Eli Roth is the king of modern B-movies, and is apparently the guy who kept Devon Sawa from bailing on the production. We can only imagine that Roth was the actor on set whooping at some of Glenn’s odder choices where others furrowed their brows. We’re stoked to see the hilarity behind his eyes as he portrays 

Devon Sawa delivering ridiculous lines with a straight face

In a recent interview, Death Rider star Devon Sawa gave a politely curt description of working with Danzig that made the experience sound bonkers. But if Devon can say, “A little Bizkit? Huh?” in Fred Durst’s movie, you know he can say some really nutzo stuff without batting an eye in Danzig’s film. We’re expecting some weird vampire fantasy lines, too — If I steal the amulet from the Wolf Clan for you, will you use your Night Blood to bring my sister back from Lethe? You know, an old chestnut like that.

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Words by Chris Krovatin