We’ve all had that feeling: you wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and think, ‘Man, I wish I’d done a shitload of speed in 1982 and had sex with half the women in Germany.’ Thankfully, Motörhead are here for you. Not content to simply have you smell like Lemmy with their new scented candle, he speed metal progenitors now want you to look like Lemmy, thanks to their new ‘Faces of Lemmy’ facemasks.
The masks, which are being sold as a three-pack, feature a trio of Lemmy’s most iconic looks. There’s Vaguely Discontented Lemmy; Grinning, Psychotic Lemmy; and of course, Vaguely Discontented Lemmy With Cigarette.
The masks are cotton, and go for $20 for the three of them on Motörhead’s online store. However, the website makes very clear: “These masks are not medical grade and are not meant to take the place of the N95 masks. They are not suitable for use in a surgical setting or where there would be significant exposure to liquid, bodily or other hazardous fluids, use in a clinical setting, or use in the presence of a high-intensity heat source or flammable gas. Please consult your local guidelines for protective face gear.” So if for some reason you had plans to perform actual surgery wearing a Lemmy mask, we’re afraid it’s pickles on parade for you.
If a facemask isn’t your bag, perhaps a festive scented candle will brighten your rancid hovel. Motörhead teamed up with the Evoke Candle Co. to create an Ace of Spades tribute candle. Emblazoned with the band’s spade logo and the line “Born to Lose, Live to Win,” the candle reportedly smells like whiskey, seemingly in the hopes of reminding users of the aroma that comes when Lemmy sidles up next to you at The Rainbow.
If you’re interested, the Ace of Spades candle is available for preorder.
Words by Chris Krovatin